Palm Reading

This afternoon I thought I'd talk a bit about my experience with IVF so far.  I don't plan on my blog being in any particular order.  I'm not going to write my infertility story from the start to now.  Instead I plan to just write snippets of information here and there about the goings on in my world of infertility and what I've been through so far.  Hopefully these snippets will tell my story even if it is in some mixed-up, all-over-the-place order.
I've named this post Palm Reading for a reason.  Don't worry, I'm not at the point yet where I'm so desperate to hear some good news that I consult with some head-scarf wearing hippie grandmother who peers at my palms and tells me she sees me having three beautiful children.  I'm talking about the type of palm reading you do when you wake up from the anaesthetic they give you during the egg retrieval.  For those non infertility speaking people out there, the egg retrieval (or egg pick-up) is a procedure performed under anaesthetic whereby the doctors insert some large needleish type object into the follicles in your ovaries (or ovary in my case) to suck out the eggs which have been developing.  They do this transvaginally while you sleep blissfully unaware of the crowd of people watching your ovaries on an ultrasound screen like its the latest blockbuster.  Anyway, back to the palm reading.  After they've retrieved all of the eggs in there, they write the number they've retrieved on your palm so that when you wake up, you can find out instantly how many eggs they've retrieved.
In my four IVF cycles to date I've woken up to the following palm readings: 1, blank, blank, 3.  In that order.  Blank means zero.  I'm what they call a poor responder.  My friend Endometriosis has done this to me.  She filled my right ovary with cysts to the point that the doctor had to remove the whole ovary when I was just 23!  She also started moving in on my left ovary but luckily my lovely doctor fights her off with drugs and surgery every time she tries to set up camp.  Unfortunately during these counter attacks by my doctor, some innocent victims lose their lives.  My little eggs.  I am now left with a number of eggs similar to that of a 55 year old woman.  I'm 30.
I'm still optimistic though.  I still have my days (like yesterday) when I think there is no hope and I'm all bitter and negative.  Today is a better day though.  I had a blood test and scan this morning.  I'm good to start the stimulating drugs for my 5th cycle tomorrow.  I have 6 very small follicles in my remaining ovary just waiting to be stimulated.  Here's hoping my next palm reading is 6.